Not Feeling It

 I'm not sure where my mind's at right now, but I'm trying to show up for this little blogging challenge I've created for myself anyway. Two days later than normal again, but I never make my own rules hard and fast, so I'm letting that part go. Again. I have a bunch of potential topics for these blog posts in my notes app on my phone, but right now nothing feels appropriate and nothing is calling out to me. I feel like this post is going to be another that's got a phoning-it-in vibe. Oh well.

I think part of the problem at this moment is a frustration with schoolwork taking up so much of my brain space, energy, and time. I don't always feel that way, but right now I do. I've got stuff due tonight and even if the actual work of it is only going to take an hour or two, it still crowds everything else out of my brain. 

To top it off, I have nothing to show for my weekly creation. I do have a photo to share for Ordinary Beauty.

Goose + Tree

I just really love the way the goose, the tree, the water, and the reeds in the background look together and the warm yellowish colors. Runner up:

Leaf Litter in the Water

Still Clarifying

 My blog post is coming in late this week because I got behind in my schoolwork and needed to play catch-up on Friday (when I usually blog) and yesterday. Going to keep it simple today.

I'm still working on clarifying exactly what it is I want with regards to the Ordinary Beauty project. This past week, here are the photos I came up with:

I like this because it's objects reduced to shapes and colors. I edited it as I usually do for my photos, cropping to frame it how I want, increasing warmth, and increasing saturation. I don't fully love it though. Partly because I didn't get the focus on the lamp post very sharp an partly because I'd like it to fill slightly more of the frame. I do really like the way the blue, the green, and the orange look together. Here is my runner-up:

This is a "nicer" picture, I think, and it still does fit my criteria of what I'm going for, as it's a more up-close look at a plant than one might normally go for and I like that it has a narrow-ish depth of field (the plants in the background are not in focus). But finding beauty in plant-life almost feels like a cheat. I mean, that's not going to stop me from taking pictures of plants, because I love to, but it just seems like a more obvious beauty, and I'm really interested in the less obvious, more serendipitous beauty.

Here is my creation for the week. A simple sketchbook page. I think once I've graduated and can devote more time to creative stuff, I'll have more to show for my weekly creations.

Clarifying By Doing

 I have been finding that in the doing of my Ordinary Beauty project, I am further clarifying for myself exactly what I mean to be doing. It's an interesting thing to me because when I set out this challenge for myself I thought I had a pretty good handle on what I meant. But, in the doing of it, I am discovering that sometimes my results are less than satisfying. I look at what I've got and I say to myself, "This isn't what I want." Take, for example, my results from week 5, which was the week of 1/29-2/4. I typically share what I feel is my best photo for this project, along with a runner-up if there is one, or at least that's how it's evolved over this first month of the project. But, this week's best photo left me feeling disappointed.

Unicorn & Horse

These are some statues in the corner of someone's yard. I think they represent ordinary beauty because I see them all the time, because they are kind of a little joke (they live on the corner of Horse Drive and Unicorn Street), and they're just, you know, artistically nice. But my photo underwhelms me. So, I have to ask myself why.

When I asked myself why, a social media post I had recently seen popped into my mind. When my subconscious sends me messages like that, I feel like I need to listen. The post was a series of photos taken in ordinary residential settings, but framed in such a way as to make you see the scenes in a different light. The poster (and I do not remember who it was or I would credit them) was saying something about how someone came out yelling at them for taking a photo of their house and they had to explain to that person how the way that their garden hose looked against the wall was beautiful. And I realized that's the kind of thing I'm interested in doing with this project. It started out as something more connected to the original story I told about being discouraged in my early twenties when I had wanted to do a similar project around finding beauty in the city that I was having a hard time not hating. But, in the doing of it, I have realized that it's more about expressing myself creatively than about specifically finding beauty in a particular geographical area (Las Vegas). 

The next step in my thought process was to figure out what is standing in my way of getting the kinds of results I want. Firstly, and most importantly, is my level of technical skill, which is not high, and tangentially, the technology I use to take my photos. Most of my photos are taken with my phone, which is a Pixel 5. I have no doubt that decent photography can be made with a phone camera, but a) it does present limitations and b) I, personally, don't much know how to make best use of a phone camera. When it comes to photography in general, I have a bit of knowledge from some classes in the past as well as self-teaching, but there's still so much to learn. Solution: learn more about photography in general and also about how to take good photos with a phone. And--take my good camera (dslr) out more often.

The second thing getting in my way is my own self-consciousness. How often do I avoid taking a photo because I am worried about what people might think about me taking a photo of something weird? What if they come out of their houses yelling at me, thinking I'm doing something nefarious? Casing the joint, or something? (I mean, that's legitimate, isn't it? I don't want people to think that.) The point is, I am not going to get the kinds of photos I'm interested in taking for this project if I'm not willing to put myself out there and risk having someone think, what is that lady doing? 

All of that is to say that sometimes when you take on a creative project, you find out that what you thought you wanted to do was not exactly what you wanted to do, and that's okay. Sometimes, the only way to figure it out is to dive in and do it. Let it work itself out as you go. 

Hopefully, next week I will have better Ordinary Beauty photo examples to show you what I'm talking about in this post, because I don't necessarily think I've explained it well with words. A good visual example will be better.

Moving on, here is my creation for the week, a stamp in which I tried out some lettering. There's a lot to be angry about in the world right now, and apparently making art about it is better than doomscrolling. I do think I made the 'I' worse the more I tried to make it better. The second 'C' got better though. (Top to bottom is rough first cut >> refined version)